validity
Isn't it amazing that God has instilled in us a desire and commission for character development. It is awesome. I am studying a unit to my year 9 and 10s on Suffering and Compassion. And I love to think about it in context of all the things I have learnt about myself. I try to work out in what ways I am suffering and dig deeper and deeper to uncover the root cause and work out strategies to address the suffering. We are shaped so much by our past. Our interactions with important males in our lives, interactions with important females in our lives fully shape our perceptions of gender. Looking at what they do shapes our perceptions of industry and purpose. Our dealings with and guidance through struggle, conflict and resolution influence our self-worth and independence. It is all interconnected. A man is not an island.
At the moment, I am cracking down on my commission to be a good steward. For the last 8 months, since I have been here, I have become slacker and slacker when it came to dishes, vacuuming and ironing (my 3 greatest inconveniences). The garden of my rented house has fallen to disrepair also. So last sunday, I spent the whole day cleaning my kitchen and ironing. This afternoon when I got home I went out and pruned a tree. After tea I did the dishes, dried them and put them away.
I think somewhat that my desire for cleanliness, and the motivation and industriousness that has benefited my desire, is somewhat related to my state of mind, my recent intermittent experience with a feeling which can only be described as mastery, and the weather. I have always found that I work better with a clean desk. And it seems also that when I am working efficiently and confidently, my desk somewhat resembles order (if not only to my archaic perceptions at the time). School this term has been glorious, better than the last two terms. I pray that this trend continues. I have a made a real connection with the students, the subject material and my understanding of my role. I have grown. And I have grown a lot. And I am continuing to grow. But at the moment, I am enjoying the plateau of mastery, if not of only small things. It is hard to express the feeling of entering a room and knowing that your performance, although not being always accurate or flawless, will be, with little fear, plausible. And validity, I feel, is the essential basis for a sapling to burst into growth. I can. I am not perfect, but I can.
I am discovering this theory true time and time again in my interactions with my students. To just believe a student can is all a student needs sometimes. X is a student of mine who has low self-esteem and works at a poor standard. One day I told him that he could do a piece of work that I had set him. I moved him away from his peers, and told him how I had faith in him, how I knew how capable he was at achieving the task ahead of him. You know what he did? He didn't yell, or argue. He cried. Big soppy baby tears. Tears from a heart that was longing to hear those words. And you know what? He worked with passion the next few weeks - like a man with a purpose, a desire to exemplify that he could!
In my study recently I have been discovering about the basic sufferings of a man's heart. This call for validity is one that deep-set within every soul. A man whose masculinity is not validated, whose interests and ambitions are not validated and whose basic feelings and passions are not validated is left to question himself. To wonder whether or not he is good enough. Whether he try to play a role in which he feels invalidated, or fight for androgyny as a safer option. And again, this suffering is deep-set and is affected by interactions and examples.
The hope is, and perhaps the cop-out, Adventist response for those who have not gone through the struggle and discovered the reality, God validates us. He has created us, equal but different. With a purpose. He has created me with a need for adventure, with a thirst for and the capabilities to achieve true masculinity and a heart that is open for growth. And with this gift of realisation, comes the fruit of mental relaxation. I can think, analyse and create without fear. I jump out of bed with a desire to be awake with the knowledge that I am contributing in a valid way. I am and I can, therefore I do, without self-inflicted limitation.
I think the warmer weather helps it all as well.
I had no idea how passionate my need for validity was. It was masked from me. I wonder what else is masked from me?
At the moment, I am cracking down on my commission to be a good steward. For the last 8 months, since I have been here, I have become slacker and slacker when it came to dishes, vacuuming and ironing (my 3 greatest inconveniences). The garden of my rented house has fallen to disrepair also. So last sunday, I spent the whole day cleaning my kitchen and ironing. This afternoon when I got home I went out and pruned a tree. After tea I did the dishes, dried them and put them away.
I think somewhat that my desire for cleanliness, and the motivation and industriousness that has benefited my desire, is somewhat related to my state of mind, my recent intermittent experience with a feeling which can only be described as mastery, and the weather. I have always found that I work better with a clean desk. And it seems also that when I am working efficiently and confidently, my desk somewhat resembles order (if not only to my archaic perceptions at the time). School this term has been glorious, better than the last two terms. I pray that this trend continues. I have a made a real connection with the students, the subject material and my understanding of my role. I have grown. And I have grown a lot. And I am continuing to grow. But at the moment, I am enjoying the plateau of mastery, if not of only small things. It is hard to express the feeling of entering a room and knowing that your performance, although not being always accurate or flawless, will be, with little fear, plausible. And validity, I feel, is the essential basis for a sapling to burst into growth. I can. I am not perfect, but I can.
I am discovering this theory true time and time again in my interactions with my students. To just believe a student can is all a student needs sometimes. X is a student of mine who has low self-esteem and works at a poor standard. One day I told him that he could do a piece of work that I had set him. I moved him away from his peers, and told him how I had faith in him, how I knew how capable he was at achieving the task ahead of him. You know what he did? He didn't yell, or argue. He cried. Big soppy baby tears. Tears from a heart that was longing to hear those words. And you know what? He worked with passion the next few weeks - like a man with a purpose, a desire to exemplify that he could!
In my study recently I have been discovering about the basic sufferings of a man's heart. This call for validity is one that deep-set within every soul. A man whose masculinity is not validated, whose interests and ambitions are not validated and whose basic feelings and passions are not validated is left to question himself. To wonder whether or not he is good enough. Whether he try to play a role in which he feels invalidated, or fight for androgyny as a safer option. And again, this suffering is deep-set and is affected by interactions and examples.
The hope is, and perhaps the cop-out, Adventist response for those who have not gone through the struggle and discovered the reality, God validates us. He has created us, equal but different. With a purpose. He has created me with a need for adventure, with a thirst for and the capabilities to achieve true masculinity and a heart that is open for growth. And with this gift of realisation, comes the fruit of mental relaxation. I can think, analyse and create without fear. I jump out of bed with a desire to be awake with the knowledge that I am contributing in a valid way. I am and I can, therefore I do, without self-inflicted limitation.
I think the warmer weather helps it all as well.
I had no idea how passionate my need for validity was. It was masked from me. I wonder what else is masked from me?
posted by amadeusthecreated at 4:48 AM
1 Comments:
very interesting.
I take it you've been reading Wild at Heart? I bought the one written by him and his wife, Captivating, but couldn't get into it.
I suppose as much as it is nice to have a purpose, I don't like being told how I should react, and how I should be, what kind of person (feminine) I need to be to be fulfilled.
Hmmm....
you provoke thinking! We should give you/you should give us a call sometimes
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